Saturday night, my niece Natasha got married. Natasha is a very relaxed, easy going and gentle human being. She also loves children! Therefore, children were not only asked to attend the wedding, she also included all the children in the ceremony. She and her (now) husband got married in a beautiful old house. Most of the celebration was downstairs; however, the children had a playroom upstairs complete with an Early Childhood Educator to provide them with entertainment. Needless to say, the kids loved it and had a blast. As the night went on, the fatigue became apparent. When one child was coming down the stairs, he slid and almost fell. At that point, I decided that it was time for Alex to stay close to me and not return upstairs. After a few minutes, Alex tried to sneak back upstairs to see his friends. When he looked down to see if I could see him, he saw me looking at him. I didn't show any emotion on my face, I simply looked at him. He immediately turned around and started coming down the stairs, making his way toward me. As he was coming down, he said "what, are you angry, sad or frustrated?" My cousin Cheryl was standing right beside me and we both started laughing. Cheryl said "I guess he needs to know exactly where you stand before he comes down".
Aside from the fact that it was quite humorous to hear a 6-year old say something like that, I also was very impressed with his ability to differentiate between similar emotions. We have been labelling emotions since he was a toddler and I can see how helpful it is today. Helping children label their emotions allows them to communicate exactly what they're feeling instead of demonstrating them in a maladaptive (negative) way. Consider this- when a child is upset, he gets an overwhelming and intense physical sensation in his body. When this happens, the child needs to release that energy. If a child does not have the words to express how he feels, he can become aggressive, throw himself on the ground or start crying uncontrollably. However, if a child knows how to label his emotions, he can tell an adult what's going on so that the adult can help him through the emotion. The best way to teach children to understand their emotions is by labelling their emotions for them. When your 2-year old starts crying because she can't find her favourite doll, you can say "you're so sad". When your 5-year old tries putting 2 pieces of lego together and the pieces don't connect properly, you can say "you look frustrated". Although it's important to label negative feelings, it's also important to label the positive ones so that they're aware of the good things they feel as well.
Another way to help your child label their emotions is by having drawings with faces expressing different emotions readily available. When you see that your child is feeling an emotion, you can take out the chart and ask them to point to the face that demonstrates how they're feeling. Younger children could have a choice between a few different faces (happy, sad, angry, scared, and excited). However, older children can have more faces with more complex emotions (frustrated, enthusiastic, empathetic, envious, jealous, etc).
If you introduce this concept early and frequently, labelling emotions will become second nature to your child. Warning: he might surprise you when he helps you label your own emotions. Even if he's only 6!
Aside from the fact that it was quite humorous to hear a 6-year old say something like that, I also was very impressed with his ability to differentiate between similar emotions. We have been labelling emotions since he was a toddler and I can see how helpful it is today. Helping children label their emotions allows them to communicate exactly what they're feeling instead of demonstrating them in a maladaptive (negative) way. Consider this- when a child is upset, he gets an overwhelming and intense physical sensation in his body. When this happens, the child needs to release that energy. If a child does not have the words to express how he feels, he can become aggressive, throw himself on the ground or start crying uncontrollably. However, if a child knows how to label his emotions, he can tell an adult what's going on so that the adult can help him through the emotion. The best way to teach children to understand their emotions is by labelling their emotions for them. When your 2-year old starts crying because she can't find her favourite doll, you can say "you're so sad". When your 5-year old tries putting 2 pieces of lego together and the pieces don't connect properly, you can say "you look frustrated". Although it's important to label negative feelings, it's also important to label the positive ones so that they're aware of the good things they feel as well.
Another way to help your child label their emotions is by having drawings with faces expressing different emotions readily available. When you see that your child is feeling an emotion, you can take out the chart and ask them to point to the face that demonstrates how they're feeling. Younger children could have a choice between a few different faces (happy, sad, angry, scared, and excited). However, older children can have more faces with more complex emotions (frustrated, enthusiastic, empathetic, envious, jealous, etc).
If you introduce this concept early and frequently, labelling emotions will become second nature to your child. Warning: he might surprise you when he helps you label your own emotions. Even if he's only 6!
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